I'm sure if you live in the LOS or have visited for any length of time, you have heard this expression. For those of you married ,or living with a Thai lady , it is an all to common and many times frustrating statement. Where do you want to eat ? " UP TO YOU" , what do you want to eat for dinner ? " UP TO YOU", what do you want to do this week-in " UP TO YOU" do you like this shirt, ? should I buy it ? "UP TO YOU . how much money do you need to give to your folks this month ? UP TO YOU . How much money do you want to put in the envelop for the merit making ? UP TO YOU". It seems like me that the Thai's are sooooo afraid of loosing face , that almost anything you ask them ,that would cause them to take responsibilty for the decision made ,will always ,( 99%) get a" UP TO YOU ". Now this (when I first moved to the LOS) use to bother and upset me to no end , but after a while, you just go with the flow and say to yourself "Mai Pen Rai ". It works wonders and certainly keeps your blood pressure down to normal and causes a lot less stress in your life. It also keeps you from making a snap decision , because if you are wrong or, it was not what they wanted you to do or say and it doesn't go the way you planned, and turns out to be a mistake, you will get THE LOOK and sometimes a critical "SOM NAM NA" roughly translated "I TOLD YOU SO" or " I KNEW YOU WERE WRONG" .SOOOO after a while I have learned ,when you hear these words " UP TO YOU" , that sometimes (most) it's best to change the subject and move on to something else or wait 15 min and give them a chance to think about it and come up with a way to make it look like it was their suggestion or their question in the first place . If you are honest, you know that they ( the Thais ) have to be right. I give them a few hints and facts and let them come up with the decision and that seems to save face and also get the answer that I wanted in the first place .
Have you ever experienced this sort of thing ? What do you do or answer when you hear these famous Thai words "UP TO YOU" ?
This was just a thought that ran thru my head as I was having my coffee this morning and was sitting there thinking ,where should I plant the new tree we bought at the market ?and all the time knowing that if I ask Ciejay that I would hear the words "UP TO YOU" Sooooo to say face and act like the BIG BOSS of the yard ,I planted it where I thought was a good place , only to have to dig it up and plant it somewhere else and this time I said (very quitely) to myself "Som Nam Na". Ha Ha Ha.