Friday, May 14, 2010

HAMMOCKING----(the art of ) bringing back a oldie

After six years of trail and error , I now consider myself and expert in the Art of Hammocking . You don't just jump in a hammock and lay down and think that you have mastered it , hammocking is like riding a bike , learning to canoe, or kayak you can't just jump in, you might just fall right out , it takes control , thinking, and planning and a little common sense. First you have to come to a understanding that a hammock is a piece of canvas, ropes platted or, bamboo strips interwoven to make a banana shaped container to hang between two, trees , poles or ,on a frame which ever one you have available( myself I like it somewhere with lots of shade, a tree if possible .This banana shaped basket is tied at either end with some kind of rope or chain, and will swing easily in the breeze, and being banana shaped and swinging in the breeze you don't just jump in , you have to walk up slowly and turn with your back to the hammock some where near the middle of the banana shaped swing (thats what a hammock really is ) and slowly lower yourself down in a sitting position as close to the middle as you can figure out , and then with one sweep swing a leg over the other side like you were riding a horse and then very slowly lay back and then bring your legs up onto the hammock , remember that the hammock is banana shaped and your head and legs are going to be higher that the rest of your body, (now you are in), this takes a little getting use to and some folks with back problems just can't get the hang of it . All the while you are laying there enjoying the rocking motion of you hammock , you have to be careful, not to make any sudden moves ,or over you head looking as you might just roll out of the banana shaped contrapition you are laying in .Many folks I know have fell out and brusied or some have even broke a wrist or fingers trying to catch themselves , some like me have landed on their elbow and brusied or cut it pretty bad and required a hospital visit. When I told the nurse how it had happened , she told the others and they had a big laugh , my friend said I should have told them some machoo story , like I fell off my motor bike trying to avoid an accident with a dog or something , anything BUTTTT I fell out of my hammock . ha ha ha .
If you have followed my advise and instructions very carefully , you too may someday become as good as I am at the art of napping in a hammock or just relaxing and watching the world go by in front of you , remember don't try to look to much to the sides and especially not behind, as you might just roll out. OH I almost forgot , if you like the rocking motion you have to learn how to hang one leg over the side from time to time to give yourself a push to get the rocking going , and then bringing it back up into the hammock , you can't leave it hanging over as the side of the hammock will cut of the circulation to your leg and it will go numb and when you get out of the hanmmock, very slowly just like you got in but in reverse, your leg will be asleep and you will fall on your face , I almost did that one to , BUTTT now I'm and expert and that comes with , time and experience and being Retired in Thailand and Loving It .
I am posting a few pictures of the Art of Hammocking for your viewing and hopefully enjoyment. Malcolm


Anonymous said...
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Mike said...

Most restful! Afraid I am an amateur, constantly craning my neck looking for crawlies!

Truthfully I don't find them very relaxing-I clearly have a lot to learn on the subject.

Anonymous said...

I wish I was in a hammock now. ;-)

Lawrence said...

Malcolm, you certainly look like an all-time champion hammocker, and Ciejay is close behind. Next time i try to get the hang of it I'll have your instructions with me. Thanks for this!

SiamRick said...

I could almost feel myself sink into a hammock, Malcolm, as you described it. But I didn't know it was such serious business. But then anything worth doing is worth doing right!

Enjoy your slumbers.

Malcolm and CieJay Burgess said...

I'm glad the post was worth the read and I think that a hammock is a great way to relax , once you get the swing , I mean Hang of it , if you haven't tried one yet take the leap and just DO IT . and enjoy. Malcolm

Boonsong said...

You look like an expert to me. Well slumbered!

K said...

Long an enraptured, silent reader of your blog it pleases me greatly to finally find such an important tutorial for the good of mankind! I, too, am a lover of hammocking and am suprised you said nothing regarding the years of development it takes to get one's body form and weight centrally located for proper hammock balancing.

As a young man I abruptly learned the lesson of only ONE to a hammock... when I too met some nice, chuckling nurses (the young lady was thankfully not injured).

Please keep researching the issue Malcom... and I'll do the same here in Nebraska!

Love the blog!

Malcolm and CieJay Burgess said...

K,thanks for the read , I didn't know they had trees there in Nebraska, and seems like it would be impossible to strech a hammock between them corn stalks . ha ha just kidding , glad you are a reader of Retired in Thailand and Loving It , I love writing it and always try to inject a little humor at times , hope thing are going good in Corn country. Malcolm

thaikarl said...

i'm a swinger. i love the lifestyle.
what i do, is tie a piece of string, (or even that crinkly colored plastic they have on rolls here in thailand) to a nearby object. on the loose end i tie a fat knot. i set the string length so that when i'm laying in the hammock, i can put the knotted end between my toes, and by simply wiggling my foot back in forth i can get swinging, and keep it going with just a twitch of my foot. don't make a loop in the end of the line and put that over your toe. cause when you wake up from a nap, and get up all groggy, the string on your toe brings you up short and you trip and fall on your face. the knotted end should easily just fall out.

i was laying in the hammock under the house a few days ago, and the line holding the head up snapped suddenly. i crashed to the ground. hurts! my wife does thai massage which helped, but now i'm paranoid of the hold up lines. the one that broke was woven nylon, thick as a pencil with no obvious cuts in it. it was just old. so now i have a second, non-tensioned safety line at both ends. so if something breaks, the second line will stop the fall.

Talen said...

Malcolm, My first purchase when I hit Issan this summer is brand new hammock of my very own...I fear the potato sack they rigged for the youngsters wouldn't do me very well.

I shouldn't need any tips but if I do I know where to come as you seem to have the art of relaxing down quite well.

Martyn said...

Malcolm excellent advice and I am more of a hammock expert now than I was before. I've suffered the odd fall in the past and the fall is a most ungracious looking one at best.

Nowadays I can rock and roll the hammock big time as Wilai has two hammocks in the garden, both well shaded and one which catches any cool afternoon breeze.

I haven't as yet managed to fall asleep in one, that is where you have truly mastered the art.