Monday, April 5, 2010






Yes, it is a long , long and sometimes winding road to Pukett from here in Whang Pho,Kanchanaburi ,(over 12 hours ) , on a tour bus with seating similar to economy seat on a airline , no room to stretch out and relax , but at least it was air condition, and the karoke, was not to bad as long as you had earplugs made of a piece of paper or anything else that you could get to put in your ear. The frequent stops were ok too , BUT have you ever tried to go to the toilet in the 20 min that they give you at the service stations and 7/11 "s, with 150 Thai folks standing in line waiting their turn(" NOT") to pee or whatever AND did their mommies not teach them to raise the lid before they pee or at least pee in the toliet and not all over the floor ," OH THE JOY OF GOING TO A THAI TOILET AT A THAI SERVICE STATION" and try getting into the 7 to get a Pepsi with 150 hungry (they act they are never going to eat again in their life ) Thais all trying to get to the register at once, do they not know what a line is for and what WAIT your turn is also , the answer to both of those questions is a resounding "NO!!!!!". And I have yet to figure out WHY all the tours have to start at night , you can see nothing , and they have a Very busy day all planned for you the following day starting at 6 am and going strong all day , After a restless night of singing ,dancing, drinking card playing , and all 50 of them talking as loud as possible, and all of that taking place in the confinds of a one foot aisle (packed with jerking bodies) and last but certainly not least the comedian Mum, from his tv show recorded live just for our entertainment, (they, (the Thais) will laugh at anything and, I have found in my stay here in the LOS and laughter, that it take soooo little to amuse them , ha ha. Now the only toilet on the bus is full and the smell is coming from under the huge crack under the door and all that Pepsi from the last stop is making your eyeballs float, OMG, and Ciejay want let you use that plastic bag she has been saving to carry god knows what back on the bus with her the next time we stop to eat, the hottest ,spicest, food I have ever put my lips to in my life , the truth story is I have little blisters on my lips from eating somethin that everyone was saying was not to ped ped (my A--)and it was hotter coming out than going in. All that was a little review of our trip down the Pukett, on the famous double decker VIP tour buses. And when we finally do get there I'm supposed to be a happy camper and full of energy and ready to Rock and Roll . Once there , things were somewhat different and I really (for the most part) enjoyed myself.
I'll share a lot of stuff with you about some of the fun and not sooo fun places we visited on our trip in my next post , but the sun is already beating down with all of it's fury here in our little village of Whang Pho and I need to reteat to the other side of the yard and my HAMMOCK and a good cold glass of home made lemonade, and after that a quick power, nap ,before Ciejay finds me and brings out that new "Honey Do" list from hell for me to start on." Oh no!!!!!" my neighbor just got company and they have decided to spend the morning singing a little Karoke, Of course he has to turn those 4 foot tall speakers up as loud as they will go , to impress the company and to show all us neighbors how good his friend can sing , then his wife , then his kids , and finally the mother -in -law( that use to sing with a tour ,concert, group 50 years ago) who thinks she still sounds the same today as then , that they brought along to babysit for them. It's going to be another great day here in paradise, and thats why I'm Retired In Thailand And Loving It. Malcolm


Brunty said...

Malcolm a great post and had me laughing a lot. Everything you said is spot on.

I can't believe you trusted Thais telling you it wasn't spicy.... haha

And coming out is the worst but lucky for the water squirter to cool things down.

Look forward to more reports and pictures.


Anonymous said...

"I feel your pain" ... ;-)

Mike said...

Malcolm you have my sympathy. Don't know whether it was as hot in Phuket as here, but that would make my tolerance level even lower.

martyn said...

After the toilet fiasco, the extra spicy food and the karaoke, I'd like to suggest a few Elvis songs you could all sing along to on your next trip.

"All Shook Up"
"Easy Come, Easy Go"
"First In Line"
"Fire Down Below"
"I Can't Help It"
"Number Eight"
"Tender Feeling"
"There Goes My Everything"
"We're Coming In Loaded"
"When It Rains, It Really Pours"
"You Gotta Stop"

Have fun cowboy.

Camille said...

Don't forget 'Return to Sender'

Sounds like a fun trip though, I almost pity you ;-)

In all earnest though, I'm not a big fan of Thai buses and can feel your pain!

Anonymous said...

Sounds as if you were pretty miserable. I didn't read one positive comment in your blog, all negative. You should have just stayed at home.

Malcolm and Ciejay Burgess said...

Thanks for the read and I see everyone did not get the DRY humor that I was writing about , after all the tour bus was just the means to get us there for a great time.All in all It was a experence I'll never forget and will be sure to include it in my book of Memories of the LOS that I am writing. Take care .

MJ Klein said...

your descriptions of everything had me visualizing (and smelling) things right along with you. great reporting, Malcolm!